Films reviewed in February 2002 (Last Updated 02/27/02)
Links to the films of last year By Greg Douglass


Soul Survivors 2/23/02
What’s Good: k
What’s Not: k
IMDb Plot: j

I can’t believe anyone would dare make a movie this awful. Forget the fact that “Jacobs Ladder” and “Six Sense” (both based on the short story Incident at Owl Creek Bridge) paved the way for dead men walking movies with “surprise” endings, this film is not only void of ___, but absolutely incoherent… and that’s coming from someone, who in the same year, thought the puzzling “Mulholland Dr.” was the best film of the year.

“Soul Survivors” is about four teens who are just about to go off to college before they get into a horrible car accident. ___ stars as an albino looking nut case (the out of her league ____) who can’t live down the death of her dear dear boyfriend (a predictably deadpan Casey Affleck), whom, while she was driving, died. While on campus, she is menaced visions of him and her friends (Wes Bently and Eliza Dukshu) are concerned. On and on the film goes in this unrelenting dreamscape where masked people chase ___ and right as she is about to be killed, she realized it was all in her head. This happens at least a dozen times and by the end of the films way too long 85 minute running time, I was dizzy with anger and ____. Anyone who thinks this film is scary is confusing fright with dread. The film, which was wisely put on Artisan’s shelves for a few years, seems to have gotten worse with time. It is worthless horror film that is so inconsistent that it couldn’t even be called elusive. The film simply means nothing. Director ___ seems to posses zero talent as a storyteller (yes even worse than most college filmmakers).

Note: The film also stars Luc Wilson, a good actor who has somehow managed to appear in his third straight F film after the odious “Charlie’s Angels,” “Legally Blond” and this disappointment. Wilson plays a priest who is trying to help ___ (paging Danny Ailleo) but like most other aspects of this film, it seems unfinished and rough. Wilson broke the F streak with “The Royal Tenenbaumbs” and that film proves that he maybe needs to stick with films that at least had a screenplay going into production.
Grade: F


Queen of the Damned 2/22/02
What’s Good: This films shallow nature may reaffirm why Rice’s verbose books are so addicting,  but that doesn’t mean it won’t make solid rental a few months down the line.
What’s Not: Hard to take seriously. Nowhere near as awesome as "Interview with the Vampire."
IMDb Plot: The vampire Lestat becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the queen of all vampires.

What’s so disappointing is not the fact that this is a shaky B-movie (after seeing “Collateral Damage” my crap detector was still in good working order) but the fact that what could have been the James Bond of vampire flicks has turned into what is essentially a shiny joke with plastic fangs and novelty blood. Director Michael Rymer has sabotaged the franchise with his untapped vigor and neophyte skills. For now, that day-walker, Blade, remains the vamp lovers only big screen hope.

I don’t know what’s more eerie, Alias acting or the fact that her brother dubbed the late singers voice because of how bad her accent was. (I couldn’t stop but to think of how or when her brother realized he sounded just like his sister.) I’m going with that whole brother sounding like a chick thing, although, to see Aaliyah trying to look menacing is about as much of a stretch as seeing her trying to act love struck along side Jet Lee—talk about B-movie territory. Besides a ridiculous costume, every time this villain opened her mouth, I kept picturing this Rupal looking mo-fo behind glass trying to sound like a chick, while at the same time actually trying to mimic someone who couldn’t act to begin with-- how hard can it be to sound like a vampire? Just throw in a sudo-English twang with a hint of arrogance. Sorry movie people, but bad acting + bad dub don’t cancel each other out. And sorry again but Aaliyah fans will be equally bummed to learn that this lady, playing the big bad, is only in the film for a dozen or so minutes.
    Aaliyah is “playing” a cranky, age-old vamp queen who has just awoken from her eternal (well, not so eternal as it seems) slumber thanks to the vampire Lestat's mad skillz as a musician (don't ask) and is mad as hell—though the film doesn’t really care (or need) to explain why because it would get in the way of all the mindless action and cheesy dialogue. So, even if the film doesn’t explain why this queen wants to kill everybody in sight, and why other kindly vampires want to stop her, the final nail in the coffin is that the personality of this supposed menace doesn’t relay the necessary amount of malice needed for someone who wants to destroy the earth.

The film centers on Stuart Townsend (who seems to be a REAL actor, but its hard to tell from just looking at this film) playing the most iconic vampire since Dracula (though the slacker vampire Spike is catching up). Up until the last minute, Wes Bently was pegged play the Lestat role but turned it down (he probably got around to reading the script); I imagine that really could have worked but we’ll never know. Making due with what’s left over, I must say that Townsend does justice to the grandeur of the brat prince—lord knows he’s got the characters cocksure, pretty boy look down pat--- but he’s not as sexually ambiguous and powerfully lustful as Cruse was in the infinitely more memorable Rice adaptation, “Interview with the Vampire;” a film oozing with both atmosphere and the greatest heavy handed acting available at the time. Still, I could totally stand seeing the non-blond Townsend reprise this role, that is, if anyone is stupid enough to attempt a third Rice film.

One of the most rewarding themes from the books is that these creatures are tortured and conflicted shadows; “Gods unwanted children” (who are almost at the same cosmically fucked level of Gods other unwanted, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.) That dark spirit may work in theory, but are any of the characters in this film really tortured?  Ha! Yeah right. All that serious stuff would, like, make those teen all sad and stuff. For a majority of the time the vampires of this move are simply walking fashion adds with crooked smirks.

Other half-formed characters include Marius (a welcome Vincent Perez) who is like the wise father figure to Lestat; and there's Marguerite Moreau who plays Jesse, a member of a not so secret order of paranormal physic detectives called the Talamaska, who must has a soft spot for bi-vamp rockers. Jesse Reeves is Lestat’s main love interest in the film and, although much more animated than Aaliyah, she’s about as lively as all those books she’s surrounded by in the Talamaska’s extensive library. Other carryovers from the books include the sagely David Tolbot (compared to the book, a much younger and much more arid Paul McGann) as a paranormal scholar; Maharet (Lina Olin) as a secretive mother vampire; and Pandora. As a fan, it was nice recognizing these faces on the big screen and even nicer was the bitching about how "no side character was done justice," that soon followed.

To hear Rice describe New Orleans circa 18th-century, or the fall of ancient Rome, is to understand why this stuff is so popular with the ladies. The vampire chronicles are so heavily imbedded into the popular vampire ethos that, besides being a pop culture phenomenon, is a valid topper to the age old mythology. And while campy Vampires were all we knew pre Interview, Rice has reformed and, other than gaying up the fictional stigma, she has turned it into an absorbing soap opera capable of gravity and romanticism I never thought possible in relation to them nasty bloodsuckers. 
   
Rice's Last book was among her best. At this point she writes for fans who know the score, and each book is simply a continuation with vacillating time periods. In many cases, her books are like "Rashomon" in the way that each book might tell of incidents from multiple characters POVs. In The Vampire Armand, for example, the lead character describes the fiery undoing of Marius and in her latest, Blood and Gold, we’re given a first hand account of what Armand saw in the previous book, and a post script as to where Marius ended up. As you can see, its easy to get distracted with this addicting shit.

Back to the present, this film seems to be trying hard to be hip with its “Matrix” like bravado. And my grade reflects the fact that, at moments, it comes close to being quite cool. But alas, the film is inconsistent in its dishing out of the fun. The music by Jonathan Davis of Korn (along with Richard Gibbs) has got to be the best part—so much so that I had a half smile on my face in that obligatory scene where the heavy walks (in super slow-motion) away from the fiery bar she just incinerated; and all of this set to a soaring rock score. And the scenes where Townsend must pretend to be a rock star, singing and mouthing the words to Davis’ tunes, were actually pretty accurate in the context of the film. I believed this character and his music was rock star worthy, and that’s a huge bonus. Other cool scenes are made so buy great art direction and cinematography: I liked a scene where Lestat and Marius share a quiet moment while sitting on a scaffold behind a huge billboard of Lestat's band. Add to that an exhilarating final time lapsed shot and you got yourself a near hit.

After hearing that this film was to be sent to direct-to-video graveyard until the films co-star, Aaliyah, died, my expectations, going into the show, were flat lining. I expected utter trash and instead got beautiful garbage.
Grade: C
Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned novel: B+
Anne Rice's Blood and Gold: A-


Hart’s War 2/17/02
What’s Good: For the second week in a row, the villain is more interesting than the hero. Marcel Iures does a great job as the complex Commandment. I was grateful that he wasn't over-the-top.
What’s Not: After a promising start, the film goes limp with a lame court case instead of delivering what could have been an elaborate escape film.
IMDb Plot: A law student becomes a lieutenant during World War II, is captured and asked to defend a black prisoner of war falsely accused of murder.

“Heart’s War” is not the balls-out, trench foot, missile dropping war picture that “Saving Private Ryan” was, this one is more like a contained prison picture set against the backdrop of a giant war. Although that is not a novel notion, prisoner pictures are usually less risky than the grand ones with, yawn, a message. From the classic “The Great Escape” to “Stalag 17,” “Hart's War” may be the most realistic looking WWII POW drama to come out of the bunch (the camp in “Great Escape” looked like a fun vacation resort where bachelors got to play cards and drink booze). The picture sports some great visuals with cinematography by Alar Kivilo (who did a great job photographing the underrated film, "The Glass House"), and gorgeous art direction by Martin Kurel. The dark earth tones, harsh blues, and decaying wood helped to set a nice mood. On the flip side to the film’s visual realism, oddly enough, is the fact that the "Hart's War" plays out like a ludicrous (and boring) melodrama.

Bruce Willis may be a real life ass hole, but I feel he disserves more credit as a dramatic actor. After “Unbreakable,” this guy proved to be as credible as someone like Tom Hanks, and actor with 1/20 the amount of range that Willis has. This time around, Willis plays William McNamara, a captured Colonel who is the secretive and harsh leader of a caged battalion. As a prisoner, this man is allowed much autonomy by his Teutonic captors. So much so that at times, he seems to be running the camp. McNamara seems to be making many (perhaps too many) life or death decisions regarding his men and possible escape. Problem is that when we do find out what Willis was up to, the details are as murky as that crappy green soup the Germans served to the soldiers. I hate to say it, but even an animated film like "Chicken Run" contained more logic. 

Willis, as with his role in “The Siege,” remains a back seat driver. Besides the title, the trailer and billboards did a good job of covering up the fact that Willis doesn't really have much to do in this story-- all of his actions occur off screen apparently. The real lead is Colin Farrell, and he almost saves the film from tedium. Farrell plays Lieutenant Tommy Hart, a recent high ranking addition to the muddy POW camp. Willis and co. are skeptical of his loyalty due to the fact that the Germans released him from interrogation way to soon. Hart may be a rat, but at least he has a conscious. Farrell is on screen 90% of the time and he seems like a strong actor that is obviously struggling with a thinly written character. This guy, like most others in the film, didn’t seem to have filled in personalities. I never got the impression that anybody in the film was actually thinking or feeling anything on the subsurface. This is routine stuff but Farrell has tremendous promise as a leading man; he just needs a good script. 

Some of the cast members had real promise though. What could have been an interesting development was Lieutenant Lincoln Scott (Terrence Dashon Howard) as a black airmen who is sent to the camp and treated better by the Germans than his fellow prisoners. He is charged with murder and goes on trial but the details of the case was trite and shallow. What's not trite, though, was Marcel Iures as the complex German Commandant who raises valid questions of Americans who thinks their culture pure, yet their treatment towards other races in their own country remains far from perfect. I also liked a scene between Iures and Willis where he talks about his dead son. This unique German character should have gotten a lot more screen time in this film and after his role as a relentless terrorist in “The Peacemaker” (playing the best villain of 1997) I have a feeling that Inures, like Willis, or even Farrell, is capable of just about any kind of role.

Director Gregory Hoblit, who did a fine job with the father/son sci-fi drama “Frequency,” may not be affluent at depicting war or needless carnage, but up until this film, his sense of character and surprise was astonishingly in tune. Besides “Frequency,” this guy also directed the ultra cool “Fallen” with Denzel playing a cop chasing an evil spirit. Both those films had stories that twisted and turned with intrigue and this film is bland by comparison. I figure, if in this decade, your gong to make another war picture it would be nice to approach it from a fresh angle. And after hearing who was directing the film, my hopes were slightly dashed by what I just witnessed. 

“Enemy at the Gates” was by no stretch of the imagination, a brilliant film, but it showed us snipers in Stalingrad and I can honestly say that besides learning a lot. That film was entirely gripping. That being said, “Hart’s War” smells way too much like a exploitation genre picture; part soppy prison picture, part cheesy courtroom drama, and a whole lot of serious faced, 12 O’clock shadowed close-ups with vain nazi soldiers. McQueen and his baseball glove are sorely missed?
Grade: C-


Collateral Damage 2/9/02
What’s Good: The film may suck but Schwarzenegger is still cool.  
What’s Not: A colorless mess of an action film. An otherwise decent villain is utterly waited. 
IMDb Plot:
Firefighter Gordon Brewer is plunged into the complex and dangerous world of international terrorism after he loses his wife and child in a bombing credited to Claudio "The Wolf" Perrini.

If one thousand nuns got raped and a week later a harrowing movie about nine hundred and ninety nine nuns getting raped happens to be released (I’d cast Cameron Diaz as the lead nun, but that's just me) I would give it an A+ if the movie disserved it. Makes sense, right? But someone with an agenda like the LA Times critic Kenneth Turnan, would pan it, if only to sound significant and noble. Many self important critics think what there doing and what they say is important when they let visceral emotions marshal their opinions; forgetting the number one factor, which is they are only writing about movies for christ sake. I'm growing so tired of reading contemporary criticism that I'm beginning to think that the better critic may the soulless one who live in a bubble. After reading endlessly shallow, critic friendly lines like "'Collateral Damage' is a relic from an earlier if not kinder gentler time," I give up. 

In recent times, Turnan, along with just about every other major American critic has lost his or her objectivity and for a critic that’s bad news. Since last year, they watch movies through different eyes and although that may be a perfectly natural response, it annoys me. It’s sad when movies and real time politics get confused as something that’s interrelated. Ideally, a film's quality should speak for itself. But if that were true, "Fight Club" would have been a critical and box office success.

That being said, what do I think about “Collateral Damage,” a film buried in comparisons to recent terrorist events? Well, first off, it is a FICTIONAL Arnold Schwarzenegger action film about a fictional terrorist that blows up a fictional fireman’s family, along with nine others fictional civilians. While the film shouldn’t have been delayed this long (I would have loved to put it in my ten worst films of 2001) it would have been awful no matter what happened in the news. It's a joyless boor of a movie that's sucks no matter where you are or when you see it.

I have fond memories of all those Schwarzenegger films where he becomes a one-man army and takes the law into his own hands. But that’s just what they are, memories. After practically being raised on those kind of films ("Predator" and "Total Recall" never get old) it may be time to move on. The man is passé at this point and his only hope is doing sequels to the films of his that once clicked-- besides a third "Terminator," I would love to see another "True Lies" and "Total Recall." But for the time being, the man really looks tired in this particular picture. And even if the honeymoon of nuvo Schwarzenegger films is over, I felt that his last one, “6th Day,” was an exceptional triumph of cheesy sci-fi action. A great looking film that brought Arnold into an updated, non-eighties era and managed to contain an inventively funny storyline about cloned humans run amuck (his puns hadn’t been this funny since “Commando”).
    What is Arnold doing in a quasi-serious film like this anyways? “Collateral Damage” falls short of the quality mark because it forgets that the star's personality only works when he’s the great big joke of the film. James Cameron’s “True Lies” was worked for me because Arnold played a self-aware spy with a family that also couldn’t take him seriously. Plus, it was stylish and a nicely paced action film. This film may move along quickly, but Arnold takes his character way too seriously and from an ascetic standpoint, it's ugly all over. The Columbian jungle has never looked this dull.

There are many serviceable but ultimately unnecessary cameos in this film: John Turturro's character, a Canadian criminal/mechanic makes no sense, and John Liguizamo as a drug dealer is totally wrong for the picture. Are we to hate these guys or laugh at him? I guess I don't even care enough to follow things like character motivation up. Still, the film managed to introduce a few memorable supporting faces into the mix. As usual, I liked Elias Koteas and feel that he was grossly underused as a counter terrorist CIA agent. He is basically exposition guy here, telling this civilian, Arnold, all these confidential and vital things about the terrorist (location and whatnot) for a reason I can only surmise as something needed to keep him good and angry. Another underused entity is Clifton Curtis, as the films heavy. Curtis could have been a great villain if only the script made him a little more malevolent. As is, he blows up a building at the beginning and seems pretty apathetic about it. All together, he has less than ten minutes of screen time and this seems ridiculous considering Curtis is playing Arnold's primary foe. What a huge fricken letdown! Curtis---who I would have never guessed was from New Zealand if I hadn’t listened to the late great Ted Demme’s commentary for “Blow”--- was just great in “Three Kings,” and “Bringing Out the Dead” and I think his career is flourishing to the point where will see him emerging as a big name in no time. The paycheck from this dud will hopefully allow him to get back to what’s important.

The film was directed by the great action veteran Andy Davis (he did "The Fugitive" and "Under Siege") and he brings along a tired formula that involves the main character infiltrating another enemies headquarters, slapping a bomb together for reasons that are unclear (this way way way over trained fireman should have been with a swat team, that at least pays better), then escaping and/or outrunning the fire ball from that bomb he just detonated. Yawn. Arnold, like Davis' other hero's, Harrison Ford Steven Segal and even Keanu Reeves (from the beyond bad Davis film called "Chain Reaction"), are all essentially out to clear their names, then thwart the villains evil plans, and along the way, make their lives a living hell by acting as a wrench in the works. Arnold, the scowling fireman not only manages to sneak into an anti-American Columbia (it cant be that easy, can it?), takes on the whole drug cartel without even needing use a gun, and just for the fuck of it, stumbles into the naive terrorist contingency and blows the shit out of them too. As the wife of the big bad terrorist points out, both hero and villain are "consumed by hate, driven by rage." And that would have to be true for a "normal guy" to go to so much trouble for some sort of half assed reaction revenge. Yet the anti-morals of this film is nowhere near as cool as something modern like "Payback" or "Way of the Gun" because Arnold's anger is all too forced-- Mel Gibson's character seemed genuinely empty inside so he really had nothing to loose by breaking the law. Arnold's character switches to fury mode way to easily. I need more than a close-up shot of squinty eyes.

There’s not much more to say other than I was bored all throughout a picture full of explosions, double crossings, grenade tossing, ax throwing, and ear biting. The 80’s action formula is officially dead with this one. 
Grade: D


Ghost World 2/4/02
What’s Good: Freaks laughing at freaks, now that’s my kind of movie. 
What’s Not: The film and comic book from which it was based, may have been too afraid to hit upon any solid point regarding the final act and future of some characters. This I suppose was deliberate.  
IMDb Plot: After High School ends Enid strays away from her plans when she meets Seymour, a musically obsessed middle-age man.

There’s a romantic relationship in this film, but it’s not like your normal Hollywood relationship. Thora Berch plays a misanthrope who has just graduated high school and her life seems to be going nowhere. All I need to say is that my proclivities for cinematic losers, slackers, and aimless asses dictate that I liked this movie on principle alone.

One day, as a prank she responds to a man looking for his long lost love in a penny saver type newspaper, and sets up a meeting with him only to watch is disappointment. Berch and her equally unimpressed with life friend (nicely played by Scarlet Johansen; much better here than in “American Rhapsody”) joyfully watch this man arrive for a meeting that will never happen. Cruel, yes, but these girls are not exactly careless wantons. They too are frightened and frustrated with life. And that hatred is a byproduct of their fear. Anyways, the man leaves in a fit of disappointment (well not really but for the purposes of this review, he does) and the girls follow him home… and to make a long story short, Berch works up the courage to meet this lonely wreck, and becomes really good friends with him. There’s something intriguing about him and we see her fascination even if we describe exactly where the attraction is. Something is fascinating about this personality. That man is played by Steve Bucemi, and he is beyond good here. Busemi is playing against type (no, he’s not a crazy blackmailer who ends up in a wood chipper) and his future as a character actor shines bright with this role.

Later on, when a down on her luck Berch asks Bucemi why he never made a pass at her, he says, “I couldn’t imagine you’d have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.” This is a thoughtful transaction in a thoughtful film that’s adorned in sadness and darkly morbid humor. The film is not a shallow freak show like the similar “Welcome to the Dollhouse.” These people are hurt but at least the are able to laugh at everybody else including themselves. I saw purpose in these characters lives, and the director really cares about them. R Crumb would be proud for the characters in this film inhabit some of the same qualities he did in the amusing documentary on his live called “Crumb” directed by none other than Terry Zigoff, who also added his odd flavor to this film.  

Bucemi has long been due for critical acclaim and general respect other than being called that funny looking guy with the fucked up snagle teeth (he should have gotten a nomination for “Fargo”). And if this role earns him an Oscar nod, I figure it’s better late then never because the movies wouldn’t be the same without this guy around—even when he’s in movies like “Con Air” and “Domestic Disturbance.” In the films world, we care about this character but he is not all soft and sympathetic. Bucemi finds just the rite tone and his desperation is not overdone. He’s not a puppy dog, he’s a fleshed out guy with a few social quirks—a finny scene has him screaming at a family slowly crossing the street in front of his car. “Why don’t you have a few more kids!” he screams. The complexity of this character makes it impossible to simply call him a dork or a looser. 

Great as the Bucemi is, in the end, I think the real cred should go to Thora Berch. I loved her in this movie because she has an uncommon valor and dark spirit. She’s not a chipper young thing like the exasperating phony that is Kirsten Dunst; and she’s not the annoying apathetic Darla from that MTV cartoon. I hope Berch’s upcoming career doesn’t find her doing best friend duty as Jeanine Garafallo ended up, and this film is good insurance against that path. Berch is not beautiful but she’s strong and best of all, memorable. All I can say is that she is capable of true greatness if projects like this keep coming her way.

Throughout the picture I couldn't help but noticed that a lot of "Crumb" (the story about an eccentric comic book artist) was in this film. His distain for suburban umplesentrys like power wires; a town being “taken over by malls;” and even broader issue like “the decline of western civilization” by way of the fact that all towns and their normal citizens exist in this sort of ghost world where everybody and everything seems to be on autopilot. Soulless commercial establishments, and confident naïfs are aplenty and this is a powerful visual theme. If you’ve seen both of Zigoff’s films, you’ll know what I mean. Anyways, all this skepticisms comes trough in many scenes and in many characters and I was grateful to be able to indulge in an alternative to normal teen movies. Like “Election,” “Ghost World” will be around for a while because it understands all the rich storytelling that can be found in angry teenagers.

The film ends with no resolutions; no answers; and I had the fight the urge to be angry with it. With packed shots of lonely bus stops and aimless busses, Berch’s life remains in limbo and her destination remains unknown. To be honest, after seeing the film I had to give it a night to sit with me before I even thought of assigning a grade. I usually get an immediate sense of where a film stands with me and “Ghost World” was teetering between brilliance, and slight disappointment. I certainly liked the film enough to recommend it, but I also realized that vagueness is not always related to meaning.
Grade: B+